Not only is my wife my greatest asset in life and ministry, but she is also my biggest fan.  This is no small thing.

Men and women are different in so many innumerable ways, but one of the most significant differences is a man’s need to be respected and celebrated.  Since I was a small boy, I have felt the very real desire to be noticed by those closest to me; to be bragged on when I do something special, rewarded when I succeed, and celebrated when I accomplish something important (especially when my life revolved around sports).  It is sometimes difficult for wives to understand how vitally essential it is for the husband to have a fan base.  But no matter how many people think I am awesome, the only person whose opinion really matters to me is my wife.

Charie is my biggest fan, and she is the only fan whose cheers and applause I listen and look for.  One word of encouragement from her energizes me for any gigantic task that awaits me.  One little compliment from her motivates me to wash dishes, do laundry, cut the grass, and bathe the kids.  When I come home from a trip and walk through the door, Charie will yell, “Hey boys, look, daddy is home!”  And they all run to meet me at the door, giving out hugs and kisses.  I feel like the king of the world, but the strange irony is that is does not make me want to go perch on the couch in laziness, waiting to be served.  It makes ME want to SERVE them!

In a loving marriage where both wife and husband are submitted to the lordship of Christ, there is a willingness to serve each other, and as a result we enjoy the relationship more deeply.  I love her, care for her, talk to her and listen to her, ask her how she is doing and how I am doing as her husband.  I ask about the areas I can improve in and take a more active role in the things I am not inclined to enjoy.  The longer I am married to her, the more inter-dependent we become on each other for emotional strength, friendship and understanding.  She is my refuge and my paradise, the place I long to be most.

Last night this happened again.  We sat at our kitchen table after the boys were in bed and we looked into each others eyes and talked openly as lovers and friends.  We shared struggles and victories and fears and needs.  And Charie verbalized to me just how much she loved me, how wonderful it was to be married to me, and how she appreciated and respected me.  I was on top of Mt. Everest in a matter of moments.  The result?

I woke up at 4 AM.  I was completely rested, totally energized, my back was not hurting, my joints did not ache, and after only 5 hours of sleep, I felt like I had slept for 5 days.  Do I really think it was a result of my wife’s words of love and care to me?  No, I don’t THINK that.  I KNOW that.  And I don’t care if you believe me or not.  It is how I am wired, and most men are exactly like that.

Is this a sign of weakness in me, that I need my wife just like she needs me, that I desire to be celebrated and covered and honored by her?  ABSOLUTELY.  I am weak and make no pretense to the contrary.  And Charie is a gift of grace to me by God.  She is my biggest fan, and I could not care less if the rest of the crowd was boo-ing me off the stage.  If she is yelling my name, that is all I care to listen to.

I ask myself frequently how I am doing as a dad, a husband, a minister, and a Christian.  I believe it is good to self-impose regular check ups on ourselves.  And when I begin to look at my ministry, I am always reminded of God’s faithfulness to me by giving me such an arsenal of assets with which to do ministry, all of which make my life a bit more livable and our ministry at Crossroads more effective.  We have a fantastic staff.  We have low overhead.  We have zero drama in the office.  We have committed and faithful youth pastors.  We have long standing relationships with churches.  I have friends I can call on a moments notice if I need anything.  I fall on my knees often to thank God for all these things.

But my greatest asset, without a doubt, is my wife.  I am not attempting to be melodramatic or romantic.  I am absolutely serious when I say that my wife is the one person, the solitary source other than Christ, that I cherish the most and need the deepest in ministry and life.  She is one of a kind, my biggest fan and my most trusted confidant.

I was reminded of this truth today at lunch with a youth pastor.  I was at the hospital with my dad, and Dwain drove over and bought my lunch.  We sat down and began talking about life and ministry.  He had tons of great questions and a notepad, which impressed me.  As I answered him, giving advice and counsel and sharing mistakes I had made, I noticed how often the conversation kept coming back to the importance of listening to my wife.  And it was more than that…it was the importance of me valuing her, her discernment, her impressions, and her insight.

Almost all the advice I gave ended up coming back, in some way, to the value of a good and godly wife in the marriage.  I realized, again, that the biggest mistakes I have ever made were when I ignored her impressions or chose not to heed her warnings.  God has given me a precious gift in Charie.  I am not content to take the old-school approach with her (where the wife is seen and not heard and never opens her mouth except to say “yes dear”).  I am the leader in our home, and there has never been an argument over the breakdown of roles.  But I also am dedicated to NEVER making decisions of any significance without first consulting her, not just out of respect for her as a person, but out of wisdom as a leader and the fear of failure.  What great general fails to consult his troops on the ground before an offensive?  What great coach calls random plays without input from his assistant coaches?  Any great leader who moves unilaterally without consulting her or his most trusted minds and voices will soon cease to be a great leader…they will either fail miserably or be replaced.

So to every man ho reads this, consider this your unsolicited advice for the day.  Do not ignore that precious, valuable treasure you are married to.  She is a gift from God and she can do more than cook, clean, and satisfy you physically.  She can be your greatest asset, if you will have the common sense to see the obvious.

Words can’t express to you our deep and heart-felt gratitude for your thoughts and prayers over the past 10 days in regards to my daddy’s heart attack and bypass surgery.  I just regret that I have not been able to return all the comments on Facebook, the emails and the phone calls.  Please know that each prayer is appreciated.

I am sitting in the ICU room beside my dad right now.  He is sleeping…a miracle in itself.  Speaking of miracles, this afternoon they will move him to regular room in Critical Care, which means he is gaining strength and improving slowly.  He was even joking around with the nurses earlier, a sign that he is getting back to his normal self and daily routine of picking on people.

This will be the final post on his health, it has served it’s purpose over the past few days and I feel like I need to cease the medical updates and return to the normal fare of theological reflection and cultural commentary.  Again, thank you for your concern and please remember my father as the long, slow and painful road to recovery continues as he heads home in the next week.

It seems like these 2 things have taken over my life in the last few days.  I am so very thankful for doctors and nurses and medicine, for without these our quality and quantity of life would be greatly reduced, but at the same time hospitals were not designed for comfort, reflection, or relaxation.  A couple of nights sleeping in a chair in a waiting room has reminded me of that.  

Prayer, however, has become our lifeline to peace as we communicate with God about my dad and also as many of you pray for us, and particularly for him.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers and all the emails and calls.

Daddy is alive, but not well.  Since surgery, he has been incoherent, combative, and non-compliant with the nurses.  He is suffering from post-operative dementia, which means he wanders in and out of reality.  This is common from the surgery and the medicine (morphine, and lots of it).  But he is constantly restless and he desperately needs sleep.

So I am asking you to simply pray that he can calm down and rest.  Pray that he can sleep for a few days straight and then wake up ready to recover and heal.

God be praised…my daddy made it out of surgery alive, which is a miracle from God.  The triple bypass was succesful (they were unable to bypass the 4th artery because it was too brittle and calcified).  We were able to see him last night and pray for him, kiss him and hold his hand.  He was still unconscious and on a ventilator.

They tried to wake him up to see if he had a stroke during surgery, but he was “non-compliant” which simply means he woke up in a wild panic, only to find that he was in bed restraints (necessary for heart surgery patients to ensure they don’t split open the stitched-up chest wound).  The restraints caused more panic, so they sedated him again.

We are aware that this is the hand of God, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and support.  Forgive me for not returning text messages and voicemails, it is just not possible, as I am sure you understand.  I will update this daily until he is out of the woods, which seems to be the best way to communicate with the many hundreds of people who want to know what is going on.  I love you and have felt your prayers and support holding us up during these very difficult days.

Pray for:

1.  Him to wake up from the meds and be able to breathe on his own

2.  For the severe pain he will experience for 2 months due to the surgery

3.  That he will not get pneumonia, a common occurrence in his situation

4.  That his body can handle dialysis immediately (he needs it to live)

5.  That he can rest and go home asap

6.  For my mother and brother, their emotional and physical strength

7.  For countless opportunities to minister to hurting people in the hospital

Ultimately, life is God’s gift, and as Job said, The Lord gives and The Lord takes away.  No matter the outcome, we will bless His Name and give Him glory for a life lived for His glory and His gospel.  Blessed be the Name of The Lord!

I can’t even begin to say thanks to everyone who has called and emailed and sent their love and prayers for my daddy.  I need to make this quick because we are going back to the hospital for a very long and difficult day.

His heart attack was nearly fatal, but they saved him.  We have been with daddy all weekend and he has rested a little.  But the thing we need prayer for is his quadruple bypass surgery today at 12:30.  This is the most serious kind of surgery and his weakened physical state makes it more risky.  He also has dialysis for 4 hours right before they operate in order to clean his body of all the fluid and toxins.

Just pray for his heart, that his blood will clot, and that he can make it through the surgery.  My father has always been in His Father’s care, and today is no different.  If he lives, we will rejoice and cherish the time we have left with him.  If he dies, we will cry and weep, and then rejoice for the life and legacy he lived for the glory of God.

His name is Joe King.  Call his name out to The Lord today if you get the chance.

This morning, my daddy suffered a heart attack while preparing to go on dialysis.  He is a diabetic and is on dialysis 3 days a week.  He was taken to the ER, a stint was placed in his heart to open the blockage, thus saving his life.  He is scheduled for open heart surgery on Tuesday, a quadruple bypass.

His name is Joe and I don’t hesitate to ask you to pray for him.  Today was a horrible day filled with tremendous pain and discomfort for him, coupled with the looming surgery and recovery period.  If he survives, it will mean weeks in the hospital.  He hates the hospital and just wants to be home.

Would you pray for God’s providence and healing, but ultimately for His will to be done?  And for my brother and myself as we stay with him in shifts?  And for his wife of 44 years, my mom, who obviously takes it harder than the rest of us and is not in good health herself.  Your prayers are our energy and his strength, and God in His strange and mysterious way takes your thoughts and prayers and does miracles through them.  

It may be a while before I write anything here, so if you don’t hear from me, you will know why.

When I became a Christian at age 14, I was immediately overwhelmed with a desire to reach as many people for Christ as I could.  One of the first things I realized was that there was nobody at my Christian school who had not heard the gospel.  So I began to beg my parents to let me go to public school so that I could not only play varsity football, but so that I could be a witness for the gospel.  They eventually caved to my request, and my first day of school at Hillcrest High, I visited the principal in his office and informed him that I wanted to start a Christian student organization, or a club, that would be open to anyone who wanted to come.

Lord bless him, I think he thought I was crazy.  He told me no, it would not be possible, and that it was a violation of the separation of church and state.  I contacted an attorney and he did some research on the issue, pro bono, and I met with our principal again to let him know that it was indeed possible, and illegal for them to deny us equal access that other extra-curricular clubs and activities had.  He was very supportive after that, and in the fall of 1988, THE SOLID ROCK CLUB met for the first time with 142 students present and 21 students making a profession of faith.

This past Friday, I was invited back to Hillcrest to speak to the student body.  What an honor it was to return home, see several old coaches and teachers there, and speak to the student body about in  non-religious setting about making wise choices in life.  But an even greater honor took place at 7:30 AM in the band room before the assemblies.

I spoke to about 60 students at THE SOLID ROCK CLUB.  I shared the vision that God gave me when I was 15 years old and how we had seen people’s lives changed.  And I encouraged them to be bold with their faith, unashamed of the gospel, and loving toward their friends.  Twenty years later they still meet on Friday mornings, and 20 years later God is still using that ministry to encourage and challenge teenagers to live for the glory of God!

Do not ever quit when God says go.  And don’t worry about the results.  They are up to God.  Our job is to be faithful. 

Happy 20 years to the Solid Rock Club and the thousands of students that have been impacted through it over the past 2 decades!

For the past few days I have been at a phenomenal church near Nashville called Longhollow.  I finally met the legendary Mighty Jeff Lovingood, perhaps the most unique, energetic and mystical youth pastor in the history of the infinite cosmos.  Last night we were eating dinner at his home, and joining us was one of my favorite worship leaders, Chris White.  The question was asked…

“What is the church going to look like in 20 years?  What will it take to reach our generation for Christ, and how can the church do it?  What is the future of the church?”

Someone said it was video campusing.  Someone else said it was the home church movement.  Discussion began and the conversation continued as we mentioned all the various styles and types of church, from traditional to mega.  And while we were talking, I glanced at the TV that was on in the living room.  There on the screen was a man who has become somewhat of a household name in the past year or so; T. Boone Pickens.

He has made a name for himself and a fortune, to boot.  He is an oil man from the Oklahoma panhandle who is one of the richest people in America.  As of late, he has begun to promote his own idea of how America can ween itself from dependence on foreign oil over the next 3 decades.  To be honest, he is the only major voice on the issue of energy independence that is speaking honestly and with common sense.  Politicians (on all sides) just tell us what we want to hear til they get elected, but Pickens is a no-nonsense pragmatist.  Here is what he says, essentially…

It will take every available source of energy that we have at our disposals to become energy independent: oil and natural gas and bio fuels, wind and solar and algae, coal and nuclear and emerging technologies that we have just begun to research.  Realistically, he states, we need a bridge to get us from where we are (sending all our money to other countries for petroleum that pollutes our world) to where we need to be (clean, renewable energy with less environmental impact).  So he even promotes drilling off our coasts and in Alaska to sustain us while we aggressively pursue new sources for the future, to get us to where we need to be.

What in the world does this have to do with the future of the church?  Simply put, I believe we need to be a little more realistic, like T. Boone, and little less idealistic when it comes to the look, feel and style of the church of tomorrow.  It will take every kind of church style we have ever heard of, and a cacophony of styles that we have not even dreamed up yet, to reach new generations with the gospel.  We need them all, so long as the gospel is our message, Christ is our Lord, the Word of God is our authority, and we do not compromise our integrity for the latest fad or trick.  We need big and little churches, mega-churches and house churches, simple churches and inner-city churches.  We need Latino churches and Chinese churches, piano and organ churches as well as guitar and drum churches.  Let’s not confuse our personal preferences in style with what God has ordained and sanctioned.

While energy independence is a noble and worthy cause (and one I support), it is dwarfed in size and importance when compared to our mandate from our Lord Jesus to reach the world with the gospel and make disciples of all people.  It will take all of us and our churches, working together, to do it.

I don’t use my blog as a place to stir up controversy or generate cheap buzz in the blog world.  I have bigger fish to fry.  But every once in a while, enough people will ask me questions pertaining to certain issues that I realize people do want to know my opinion.  I hosted my own nationally syndicated call-in radio show for 3 years, so tackling big and divisive issues is not new to me, though it is also not my calling or intention to be inflammatory.  But one question I frequently hear is what our ministry’s policy is on alcohol for or employees.  The short answer is that we have a policy of abstinence.  Pure and simple, if you work for Crossroads, you cannot drink.  If you are not convicted that drinking is wrong, that is your right, but you can’t work here.

There are reasons for this decision, many of them.  But instead of listing them all myself, I wanted to publish, with permission from the author, one of the most concise and thoughtful defenses for this decision without trying to convince you of what your conviction should be (not my intent).  I simply hope to speak some wisdom into an issue that tends to be paraded and celebrated way too much, whether you are a legalistic tee-totaller or a liberty-loving open minded Christian-freedom-enjoyer.  For us as a ministry and for me as a minister, especially in the south where a majority of our ministry takes place, anything other than an abstinence policy would be foolish and destructive to our witness.  I will allow Danny Akin to take it from here…

“Ethical and moral decision-making presents a great challenge for devoted followers of Jesus in the 21st century context.  In 1 Corinthians Paul provides helpful guidelines for navigating what could be called “the gray areas” of the Christian life.  These biblical principles are true anywhere, anytime and under any circumstances.  They are extremely helpful in leading us to be wise decision-makers as we live out a gospel-centered ethic.

Will this action encourage my brother or sister in Christ?   1 Corinthians 8:13; 10:24, 32

A prospective student once told me that he went to the bars and drank with his friends to prove you could be a Christian and be cool.  I responded by saying if you have to go to the bars and drink to prove you are cool, then you are not cool.  Further, I shared with him that the example he was setting for others could some day come back to haunt him.  I was speaking of his children.

We are all an example to someone.  To our children we are probably heroes.  Perhaps you believe you are capable of drinking in moderation a glass of wine to the glory of God.  Your children: can you be confident that they will be able to do the same?  Is it worth the risk?  One thing is certain.  If you share the wisdom of avoiding the appearance and place of temptation, you will never have to worry about them walking the tragic road of alcoholism because they saw you do it, thought it must be ok, but  unfortunately lacked self-control.  I have tried hard to see how supporting the alcohol industry and socially drinking helps anyone.  To be completely honest, I just don’t see it.

Will this help or hinder my gospel witness?      1 Corinthians 9:12, 19-13; 10:32-33

I can conceive of a scenario where sharing the gospel over a beer or glass of wine might not be a problem, at least in certain context.  On the other hand I do not see how it helps or enhances one’s witness, and it may actually be a stumblingblock.  Wisdom again says why run the risk?  You have no reason to think it will hinder your witness if you abstain.  There is a risk, however, if you don’t.

This principle settles the issue of drunkenness, intoxication and impairment.  My joy and fulfillment in now totally and completely in Christ through the Spirit (Eph. 5:18).  I do not need an intoxicating, mind altering substance of any sort as a new creation in Christ.  If I need a high I will find it in Jesus.

 Will this action violate my conscience?   I Corinthians 10:25-29

For some the answer is yes.  For others the answer is no.  This principle will assist us in addressing this issue, but in and of itself it is not decisive.

Will this action show love to others?   1 Corinthians 13:1-13

The loving thing is always to esteem others better than yourself, it is to look out for their interest, not just your own.  “Liberty in Christ regulated by love” for Him and others is the ethic that guides the man or woman in Christ.  Is it more loving to insist on my freedom or to sacrifice for another?  Because I love you and would never want to lead you astray by my example, I will chose to say no to that which can enslave, intoxicate and addict.  It’s just the loving thing to do.

Will this action honor my body which belongs to God?   1 Corinthians 6:19-20

This is actually a debatable principle with wine or a beer.  There is no debate with respect to hard liquor.  However, I know of no benefit allegedly gained from a beer or glass of wine that cannot be obtained by some other non-intoxicating means.  Why not just drink a glass of grape juice and avoid any risk of addiction?

Will this action glorify God?   1 Corinthians 10:31

This principle is the most important in my judgment, but it is not conclusive.  I have met some Christians who with sincerity and conviction say I can drink a glass of wine, a good gift from God, for His glory.  I, on the other hand, cannot.  However, keep in mind that glorifying also entails our previous nine guidelines.  That truth will certainly influence our grasp and understanding of all that is involved in glorifying God.  

I should note that some who advocate moderation draw an analogy to eating and sex.  They correctly point out that gluttony and sexual immorality are sin, but not the act of eating or sexual intercourse.  I would want to make several observations in this context.  First, gluttony and overeating is sinful and dishonors the temple of the Holy Spirit.  This is something I was guilty of, God convicted me, and I lost 30 pounds.  I stay in constant battle in this area.  Second, many who would line up with me on alcohol run (but not very fast due to their weight!) from addressing gluttony.  Third, some have alleged that Southern Baptist are hypocritical in passing resolutions on alcohol but not gluttony.  I agree.  So next year in Louisville someone needs to submit such a resolution.  It will have my full support.  Fourth, we have to eat to live and we have to engage in sex to propagate the race.  Drinking alcohol is not necessary for either life or good living.  The fact is it may hamper or end both.  Fifth, I know of no one who’s been arrested for DWF (Driving While Fat).  The supposed analogy breaks down at a significant point: the point of potential intoxication.

In conclusion, I agree with John MacArthur.  Can I say it is always a sin to take a drink?  No.  Can I say it is almost always unwise?  Yes.  One of America’s leading pastors is Andy Stanley.  He wrote a book entitled The Best Question Ever.  That question is this, “What is the wise thing for me to do?”  In my judgment, abstaining from beverage alcohol is the wise thing to do.  This is not legalism but love.  This is not being anti-biblical but pro-brother and sister.  This is not working for evil but for good.  Given the world in which we live, I believe such a lifestyle honors the Lord Jesus.  I believe it pleases Him.  It is simply the wise thing to do.”