I wrapped up a 5 week series yesterday at Newspring called “DON’T GET MARRIED UNTIL…”  We saw between 50-60 people repent of their sins and begin a relationship with Jesus.  I am honored to serve as Teaching Pastor for one of my best friends in the world, Perry Noble.

The anchoring text was Joshua 7 and the story of Achan, his secret sin of smuggling devoted items out of Jericho and hiding them in his tent by burying them in the ground.  Ultimately, his sin was uncovered and his entire family payed a severe price for his hidden sin.

The point of the message yesterday, as the principal was applied to marriage, was simple.  Don’t get married til you deal with your junk; your sin, your issues, your past, your regret, and your secrets.  You are not damaged goods because you have baggage, you are simply a human, and no human effort can fix you.  Only the grace of God in Jesus Christ can fix, save, heal, and redeem you.

There are four major areas that every dating couple needs to “spread out before the Lord.”  If these areas are not disclosed, discussed, and dealt with, they will rise up later in marriage and cause tremendous difficulty, possibly leading to divorce.

1.  Money and Debt

2.  Family Issues

3.  Bad Habits and Personal Maturity

4.  Past Relationships and Sexual History

My wife and I live by a code in our marriage.  NO SECRETS, NO SURPRISES.  The only way to continue living that way is to be open, honest, and transparent about everything.  It’s much healthier and Biblical to set that tone before you tie the knot.

To watch this sermon, simply log on to www.newspring.cc sometime Tuesday afternoon, or download it from iTunes.  I pray it is a service and blessing to you, especially if you are single.

Assuming that people will be reading blogs inbetween naps and during the halftime show of the football game, I wanted to share a little encouragement with you today; a lesson that God taught me early this morning before most of the world was awake.

If you know anything about me at all, you know I love to hunt.  It was a tradition in my family long before I was born and my own father passed it down to me.  And it’s not so much about getting the kill for me.  It’s more about being outside, listening to the woods, being quiet and undisturbed.  Hunting connects me, in a strange sort of way, to a primitive and primordial time in human history when things were tougher and survival depended on outwitting your prey.  No kill, no food.  While I am thankful my family doesn’t depend on my shooting ability for survival, I do feel a connection to our shared ancestry when I am alone and cold in a stand of white oaks and the sun crests the horizon, burning off the fog of a cold November morning.  Few people ever get to experience that.  I do it on purpose.

We are blessed to live out in the country with lots of land to hunt.  We did this deliberately, hoping to instill values of hard work, humility, and respect for the land in our boys.  And yesterday I was blessed to kill a pretty good 5 point buck (with iron sights at 110 yards, shot through broom straw.  Just saying…)  My wife and boys came to look at it, we took pictures, talked about respecting life and why hunting is important to the survival of species, and then my boys accompanied me as we took it to the butcher.  We will eat every bit of that deer and thank God for the blessing to have meat on the table.  Strange as it may sound, the entire shared experience yesterday created a bond within my family, but especially with Jacob, my 7 year old.

So this Thanksgiving morning, long before anyone was up, I slipped into my camos, made a pot of coffee, and prepared for another morning of solitude in the deer stand, when all of a sudden Jacob came out of his room, still in his pajamas.

Jacob: Daddy, I just wanted to say good morning and I hope you get a big one!

Me: Thanks buddy, I appreciate that.

Jacob: Is it cold outside?

Me: Yep, pretty cold and foggy this morning.

Jacob: Okay, well I love you, and I hope you get a big buck.

Me: Thanks Jacob, I’ll be back soon.

Jacob: Hey daddy, can I go with you?

I cannot even describe what my heart felt like when he asked me that question.  Immediately I was drawn back to my childhood, when my daddy would get up before the sun rose and I wanted to go with him so bad.  He would be tying his boots and I would get his coffee, but I knew I was too little or that he would’nt do any good hunting with me along.  Until I finally got up the courage to ask if I could go.  And his words to me filled me with hope and excitement and fear and energy.  I said those same words to my boy this morning when he asked if he could go with me.

“Of course you can go with me, son.  I would love to go hunting with you!”

You see, of all the reasons I love to hunt, the one thing that makes it so enjoyable is that it was something I learned from my daddy.  It was something we did together.  We were big buddies in the truck and in the woods and eating lunch on the tailgate of his old F-100.  We shared those experiences and now we remember those stories as we share them, like we will today when I arrive at his house for one more Thanksgiving meal.  My daddy can’t hunt anymore.  He can barely even walk.  But I can hunt.  I’m young and strong and willing, and I have a son that wants to go with me.

The beauty of life, maybe it’s most tangible magic, is that we get to do things together.  We share trips and events and stories and meals with the people we love.  When we are old, like my daddy, we hold onto those memories and they get us through the hard days and long nights.  I will make time to take my son with me, whether we kill anything or not.

No, we did not kill anything this morning.  And we only stayed in the stand for an hour.  He got cold and started shivering so we headed home.  But I taught him to be still, to be quiet, to watch the trail where the deer cross, and to listen to the woods.  If he wants to go next time, great.  If he decides hunting is not his thing, that’s allright, too.  So long as we live our lives together, share experiences and create stories and memories that we will cherish when we are old men, I will be happy.

So today, I am thankful for a daddy who loved me enough to take me with him, and who showed me how to love my boy the same way.  Tell someone that loved you when you were little that you appreciate them today.  Then, return the favor and take someone along with you next time, wherever you may be going.

I had a conversation on Saturday that affected me on an emotional level as well as a spiritual one.  The more I think about that conversation, the more I want to share it with you, especially on a Monday morning.

As pastors and leaders, we often need to be encouraged that our work is not in vain, but many times we don’t get to see the return on our investments.  The people that we pour into and serve get jobs in other states, or the drop out of church completely, and we don’t hear from them for years.  Occasionally we wonder whatever happened to them, but our busy schedules pull us right back into the push and pull of the ministry at hand.

Then every so often, God gives us a small glimpse of hope and encouragement that our labor is not in vain.  That happened for me Saturday.

I met a guy in high school named Mike.  He had long hair, played drums, wore Led Zeppelin shirts, and lived on the wild side.  For some reason, we became fast friends.  He eventually started going Christian concerts and events with me, mostly to critique the bands that were playing (we’re talking Petra, DeGarmo & Key, and Mylon LeFevre).  And by the grace of God, Mike made a decision to give total control of his life to Jesus.  The change in him was visible and genuine.  He traveled with me to hear me preach.  We went to church together.  We prayed together and went witnessing on the weekends at the Haywood Mall in Greenville.

We graduated high school and went our separate ways to college and careers.  We kept in touch and saw each other over the holidays.  Every time we spoke on the phone, it was as if no time had passed at all, even if it had been a year since we had talked.  He pursued several different paths and choices, some of them good and some of them unwise, but our friendship never changed.

Fast forward 18 years since our high school graduation.  Mike called me this weekend to tell me that he had joined the Army and will be shipping out Monday (that’s today) to the Middle East.  We talked forever about old times, old friends, and what God did in our lives as teenagers.  Then Mike said something that touched me deeply and made me realize the significance of making disciples (though we did not call it discipleship back then.  We didn’t know that was what we were doing).

He said, “I am going over there to serve my soldiers and my country, but I want to serve God most of all.  I’m not afraid because I know that God has me on a mission to show those guys the love of Christ.  I want to be a light for them, to bring them joy and encouragement instead of fear and stress.  I know that this is what God has for me and I am really glad to be going over there.  Thanks for loving me back in high school and sticking with me all those years.  You showed me who Jesus was and how to follow Him.”

I can honestly say it was one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve ever had.  I rejoiced that the investment made years ago is now paying off not only in his life, but in the lives of all the soldiers he will serve overseas.  Nothing is more encouraging and invigorating for a leader or a pastor than hearing that someone you poured into “got it.”  Mike “got it.”  And that is our payoff.  We work and labor and pray and cry and keep doing the same things week after week for our people.  We wonder if it’s making a difference at all.  I admit, I sometimes look on their faces and wonder if they are even listening.  But the payoff comes later, not sooner, and we must wait for it.  That seed will bring fruit.  God makes it grow.  And our labor is not in vain.

Pray for Mike, the soldiers he will influence, and keep on serving and influencing the people God has given you stewardship over.  The payoff is coming.  Just wait for it.

I was commenting this weekend to my pastor about the culture we are living in right now in America and how everyone, or at least alot of folks, have such a short fuse.  Really, more and more people get riled up about less and less.

I’ve seen this on TV, in the movies, and on the news, but I’ve noticed more and more in my daily routine as I drive my kids to school, buy groceries, or go see my 7 year old play football.  It doesn’t take much for most people to have an all-out meltdown, to go from sitting still and quiet to ranting, raving, cursing and threatening those around them, for insignificant things like taking a parking spot, failing to let them in the line of traffic, or for just looking at them (seriously, the other day I was staring off into space thinking about something random, and a guy in a truck thought I was looking at him - I was wearing sunglasses - and he challenged me to fist fight.  I turned him down).

What’s behind all of this?  When people crater and just go nuts, like some parents recently did at a little league football game I attended, what is the cause of such out-of-control behavior?

Well, there are many factors, to be sure.  Immaturity.  Stress.  Family problems.  But I really wonder if the reason why we all tend to blow up about such minor things is that we fail to realize the difference between what really matters and what is absolutely unimportant in the grand scheme of things.  We lack an eternal perspective.

Would I get so angry when the cashier can’t get me the right amount of change if I remembered that in 100 years, nobody would ever know it?  Would adults get so hyper-offended at their children’s sporting events if they realized they were setting an example that their kids will follow, then teach to their grandkids?

In the long run, what really matters is the life I live for Christ, how I treat other people, and the way I love my wife and raise my children.  The gospel compels me to avoid the temptation to act as if the momentary crisis I am facing is the end-all issue in my life, and it calls me to remember who I am and WHOSE I am.

If we were focused on eternity and the things that have eternal significance, then our hot-heads would cool down a bit and we would be more careful and thoughtful about how we spend our energy and what we allow to raise our blood pressure.

Not long ago, I received an email from a brother in Christ who was really going through a dark valley of discouragement and depression.  He asked for my advice.  I really believe the Holy Spirit inspired me to respond to him with a list of questions.  I want to provide these for you today in hopes that in reading and responding to them, you will be forced to dig deeper into your heart, beyond the tough days and feelings of loneliness, and find some answers as to why you feel like you do sometimes, and what you can do by God’s grace to turn things around.

Here is what I shared with this dear brother, and I share it with you in hopes that you are served and blessed through it.

Take an inventory of your life by asking the following questions:

1. Do I get enough rest?
2. What time do I go to bed?  How late do I sleep?
3. Do I eat healthy food or junk?
4. Do I rely on caffeine or sugar or energy drinks for energy?
5. Do I have any unhealthy relationships I need to get out of?
6. Am I bitter or resentful about anything in my past?
7. Am I allowing someone else’s expectations of me to discourage me?
8. Is there a secret sin or sins in my life that I am hiding from God or others?
9. Am I looking at anything on the internet that is sinful or questionable?
10. How much time do I spend online everyday?
11. Am I withholding forgiveness from anyone?
12. Does my life lack any daily structure or routine?
13. Is my life, my desk, my car, or my room filled with clutter?
14. How much TV do I watch, and what kind of shows do I entertain myself with?
15. Am I worshipping Christ and singing and meditating in private?
16. Is there a tough conversation I know I must have that I am avoiding?
17. Is there a big decision I know I need to make that I am putting off?

Just asking these questions will start you down a road where, if you will follow up with honest answer, you can begin to understand what leads you into these dark valleys and what you can do in your every day life to avoid the feelings of depression or discouragement.  There is always a place for solid, professional counseling.  But in my experience, these are the questions a good counselor would ask you.  I pray they are helpful.

In studying for my message this past week, I consulted Gordon Fee’s commentary on the letter to the Philippians.  Fee always has a way of achieving a great blend of academic discovery and practical application.  One comment I read stuck in my mind.  Essentially, he said it would be a great tragedy to lose the heart and meaning of a text by over-analyzing it.  His advice was to go back to the scripture and read it again.  And again.  And again.

I confess that as a preacher, evangelist, and pastor, one of my greatest struggles is reading the Word of God for spiritual nourishment and personal transformation.  My tendency is to read it for sermon material.  I see passages unfold as if I were preaching them to others.  But the Holy Spirit wants to preach that passage to me first.

I would prefer to read the Bible for what it has to say to my audience.  I forget that when I read it, I am an audience of one and must decided how I will respond to what God tells me to do; repent, rejoice, give a gift, intercede, or re-arrange priorities.  When the message on the page is for everyone else, I escape the personal responsibility of obedience.  When the message is for me, I have to give an account to God.

Leaders, pastors, teachers, and preachers are all susceptible and, I suspect, notorious for seeing how a passage of scripture applies to their parishioners, their staff, or even their spouse.  But the Word of God applies to me first.  It must cut me, wound me, convict me, encourage me, admonish me, and lay my heart bare before God can use me to handle it correctly in it’s work to those I am called to lead or teach.

Quit reading the Bible for what it means for everybody else.  Start reading it, first, for what it says to you in your current position.  Personal application precedes corporate communication.

When I was still a teenager and young in my new Christian faith, I knew that God had called me to preach the gospel.  There was no doubt.  This calling was affirmed by older, more mature Christians, my parents, my pastor, and the Holy Spirit Who lived in me.  And since there was no internet or iTunes or podcasts in 1987, the only sermons I heard were delivered by real life preachers.  And I idolized every one of them.

As a matter of fact, the bigger the event, the more I admired these men.  I remember being 15 years old and hearing Josh McDowell speak at a Petra concert (PETRA, ya’ll!) and dreaming about speaking with big Christian bands one day to thousands of people.  That dream has come true, and Josh McDowell is still preaching faithfully.

But many others that I once idolized have fallen by the wayside, tapped out under pressure, burned out or quit.  Some of them have disqualified themselves because of sin.  I could, quite literally, write a good sized book about the preachers and pastors and speakers and evangelists that I have known and how they messed things up.  And I could easily be a chapter in that book.  So could you.

We are all one bad decision away from failure.  I am one click of the mouse away from throwing 22 years of ministry in the toilet.

But as I reflected on this reality recently, the Holy Spirit reminded me that the MESSAGE of the gospel has outlived all the MEN who were called to carry it, both those who did so faithfully and those who blew it.  Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggart blew it.  So did Tedd Haggard and a thousand other nameless preachers (just like me and you).  Billy Graham and Adrian Rogers and Bill Bright all remained faithful and finished well.  But neither of these categories changes the fact that the message is bigger than the man.

God chooses to use the man (or the woman), no doubt.  And we should strive to make every effort to live a life above reproach so as not to bring shame on Christ or His church.  But notwithstanding every single scandal and affair and embezzlement, the gospel still advances.  The gospel still saves.  The gospel still works.

Many a talented speaker, many a gifted communicator, and many a charismatic leader have become less than a footnote on the pages of history because they forgot that this whole deal is not about the MAN who delivers the mail.

This whole deal is about the MESSAGE.  Christ is Lord.  He died and rose again for the forgiveness of sin.  He is coming again.  Repent and be reconciled to God.  Any man can deliver that message.  But only ONE MAN can BE that message.  It is my joy, by God’s grace, to be a very insignificant man He has chosen to bear such a very important message to the world.

This is not the first time I have written about this, and it won’t be the last.  Here is a quick and I pray, helpful, list of things you may want to try to help deal with the Monday crash that pastors, leaders, youth ministers, worship pastors, and anyone in church work experiences after a big day on Sunday.  All of these may not work for you, but if just one does, DO IT.

1.  SLEEP LATE.  Set this up ahead of time with your wife, ask her permission, plan for her to get the kids ready for school, and enjoy some guiltless shut-eye.  Then make up for it later in the week by giving her a day for herself.

2.  STAY HOME.  Again, plan ahead with your staff, but take Monday off, or at least half the day.  Your mind and body need to recharge and the office is NOT the place for that.

3.  DO MINDLESS WORK.  We need to see ourselves accomplish something and finish it.  Ministry is never done, but cutting the grass, mulching the flowerbed, trimming trees, or working on the honey-do list your wife has for you will distract your brain and make you feel good at the end of the day when it’s done. (I am pressure washing our deck today).

4.  ENTERTAIN YOURSELF.  Another mindless task, Mondays seem to be the best day for me to catch up on DVR’d shows like Heroes or The Office.  And it’s football season, Favre had a great day at Green Bay yesterday, the Cowboys won, and the World Series is going on.  Can you say “ESPN SportsCenter?”

5.  COFFEE AND FOOD.  Catch up with a friend you have been meaning to get together with over coffee, or take your wife out for a casual lunch…and REFUSE to talk to anyone but her for more than the obligatory 20 second “Hey, how are you?  Good to see you!” conversation.

6.  THE GYM.  Your body is filled with adrenaline from Sunday and exercise is a great way to rid your body of that chemical by metabolizing it through running or lifting.  Also, increasing your heart rate in a vigorous workout lowers your blood pressure (it’s true).

7.  HAVE FUN.  Ride your motorcycle, crank up your chainsaw, don your camos and hit the woods in search of that 10 point buck, or hit the coffee shop with a good book or your laptop.  Enjoy yourself.  You worked hard yesterday.  Have fun today.

Just because it’s Monday does not mean you get to call this day a loss.  Redeem it and enjoy it!