There are lots of conversations taking place currently that revolve around “daddy issues.”  I recently read an article that (correctly or not) identified roughly half of American adults as “unsatisfied or negatively affected” by their relationship with their father.

While I don’t know if those stats are true or made up, what I do know is that my daddy is the greatest man I think I have ever known.  That may put me in the small minority of adults who actually think fondly of their childhood and adolescent years, but I am telling the truth.

Today is my dad’s 66th birthday and I want to honor him in this small way.  He is a man deserving of honor because of how he has lived his life, how he raised his boys, how he loved and served my mom, and how he followed Jesus for over 55 years.

My dad comes from a different world than the one we live in.  He was raised poor, really, and didn’t enjoy electricity or indoor plumbing until he was a teenager.  His own father walked out on the family when my dad was 10, so he grew up with his own “daddy issues.”  Yet unlike our generation who looks for an excuse to remain dysfunctional and unhealthy, my dad used the abandonment to make him a batter man, husband, and father.

He and my mom were unable to have children of their own so they went through the grueling process of adopting 2 boys in the 1970s.  My father worked diligently and daily, waking up at 6, going into work at 8, coming home at 5, and saving his money so that our family could have a life a bit less difficult than his.  He was faithful to his local church.  He treated his employees with respect and as a local businessman in Fountain Inn, SC, he still has a reputation as being an honest, stand up sort of man.  One of the greatest joys of my life was having my own father as my Sunday school teacher from age 8-12.  My own dad taught me the Bible.

He never opined about what his calling was.  He never complained about being stuck in a daily routine that was boring or un-fulfilling.  He saw his family, his job, and his church as his calling.  He was content to be a faithful Christian and raise his boys to know and fear the Lord.

I hear young men and women almost daily ramble on and on about their lives; they want to do something they love, they want their lives to count for something more than a regular job, they want to do ministry and get tired of working a “regular job” where they don’t see any results or souls saved or people discipled.  I understand their sentiment, but I often get weary of hearing them dream on about the future and how good it could be one day when they are missing the opportunities that lie in front of them right now.  It makes me think about my dad.

His life, by most modern standards, was dull and predictable and filled wit routine.  Yet he honored his Lord.  He was faithful on all fronts.  He never stepped out of bounds in any area morally.  He was a man with faults and flaws and he repented of them regularly.  He was THE example of faith and Godliness that turned my heart toward Christ, and because of him I am a pastor, evangelist, author, missionary, husband, and daddy.  He showed me how to be a faithful Christian.

As Joe Elmer King walks through the twilight of his life, hooked to a dialysis machine every other day, suffering the effects of diabetes and heart disease, he can know that his life counted for something that will outlive him.  I want to wish him a happy birthday, and honor him by letting you know that there is nothing better or more important in this world than a Godly daddy.  Thank God I had one.

Many folks asked me to post this on my blog yesterday at UNLEASH.  This is an email I received from a pastor not long ago after I preached a message called “Protecting Your Pastor.”  I read this from the stage yesterday (with permission and name with held) to help church people understand what their pastor goes through.  Please, pass this on to everyone you know who has a pastor, loves the church, and wants to better understand how to protect and serve their pastor.

It’s Monday morning and I have been awake since 5 AM.  This is common for me so don’t be alarmed.  But I am not alone.

Thousands of pastors joined me in sleeplessness, either waking up way too early or staying up way too late.  Why?  Because it is part of paying the price to do what God has called us to do.  The excitement and adrenaline, as well as the difficulties and discouragements of ministry often times make it next to impossible for us to enjoy the natural rythms of life that others experience.

There is no denying that ministry creates situations that lead to stress, pressure, depression and anxiety.  (If you question that statement, then you are not involved in pastoral ministry or full time church work).  The key is not how we AVOID these situations, for the only way to avoid them is to QUIT THE MINISTRY.  The key is to see them coming, prepare for the impact, and weather the storm.

I have several little secrets that I have learned over the years.  Let me share just one with you today.

I go underground.  Literally.

I see Jesus throughout the gospels retreating to quiet places all alone.  He gets up early, while it is still dark, and avoids the people and the places that will pull on Him and require Him to do stuff, like miracles, teaching, and conversation.  He steals away to hidden spots and meets with His heavenly Father.

I have a place like that and it lies underground.  When we built our house, the only thing I wanted was a room of my own, a place of solitude and quiet where I could meet with God, read books, pray, and be alone.  This room lies completely underground in my basement.  It looks and feels like me; thousands of books on the shelves, a leather recliner in the corner, my 400 lb. bear skin rug on the wall (that I killed myself), my laptop and my desk and piles of papers.

When I wake up, that is where I go.  I sit in the recliner, grab my Bible or a book I am reading, play some classical music in the background, and spend time alone with The Lord.  Sometimes I have a cup of coffee.  Often times my boys come in and want to talk or sit in my lap and be silly.  Yet no matter what happens during that time, it’s the very thing that centers my heart, focuses my mind, and helps me begin the day thinking about Christ, not me and my long list of things that must be done.

Do you have an underground?  What is your place of refuge?  Where do you go to escape, be still, and breathe?  If you don’t have one yet, find one as quickly as possible and do whatever it takes to go underground.  It may be the very thing that saves your sanity and your ministry.

“Let the rivers clap their hands, let the mountains shout together for joy before the LORD, for He is coming to judge the earth.  He will judge the world righteously and the peoples fairly.” Psalm 98:8-9

What strikes me about this passage is this: God’s coming judgment, which often times causes us to fear and recoil, should actually bring joy and hope.  Here, nature is personified.  It claps and shouts!  Like Jesus, Who said that the rocks and trees would cry out if we failed to worship, the trees and mountains (creation) erupt in worship at the very THOUGHT that God is coming…to make all things right and good and restored….and if nature yearns for Him, how much more should WE, His blood-bought children, yearn for Him?

If the thought of God’s judgment brings great fear to your heart, perhaps it’s because of one of the following reasons:

1.  You have never repented of your sin and the sin within you must either be pardoned or punished.  So you fear God’s judgment upon you and your sin, and rightly so.  The answer is to repent and believe in Christ for the pardon of your sin.

2.  You have not yet understood the mercy of God fully, realizing that if you are His child, Jesus took your punishment on the cross.

3.  Your image of God is one of anger, rage, and evil instead of love, grace, and justice.

4.  You are secretly afraid that in His judgment of all things, Christ may somehow get it wrong, make a mistake, or miss something, and you may end up being punished when you didn’t deserve it.

Yet God’s judgments are perfect because He is altogether perfect.  He will not mess it up.  He will get it right on that final day and we can trust him, as the verses say, to judge righteously and fairly.   Do you really think God has missed something along the way?

Today, let’s be ready to erupt in worship…quietly, internally, loudly, publicly, in our car, at our desk, at the supper table…at the very thought of Christ returning to set everything straight and redeem us…how could we hold in our praise at such a glorious thought?

www.crossroadsworldwide.com

Allow me to preach to myself for a few moments.  You are invited to listen if you like.

Our culture is absolutely sick with an addiction to busy-ness and I am the first one that needs to sign up for rehab.  Admittedly, I tend to work too much, take on too many tasks, and sometimes have to pry myself away from sermon notes, books, or a computer screen so that I can exercise, relax, or enjoy a meal with a friend.  I constantly strive to find harmony within my own soul: I have a creative and driven personality that likes to get things done, yet I need still and quiet time for reflection and spiritual rejuvenation.

So every morning, sometimes before 4 AM (I was awake at 2:30 today) I make a list of the projects I would like to accomplish before I retire to bed that evening.  And as the day progresses, I feel good if I can scratch items off that list.  If I get stuck on one or bogged down, I find myself feeling anxious; not because it’s a really essential task, but because my progress has been impeded.  If it looks like the list may not get completed by bed time, I have real issue on my hands.  My mind begins to race and I lay in bed constructing the list for the next day.  Some of this is my personality and some of this is sin.

Here is where I need to preach to myself.  My identity is NOT wrapped up in what I do.  My accomplishments are NOT equal to my worth as a person.  I am NOT valuable as a minister because God knows I can get the job done like a corporate hatchet man.  And it is just plain SINFUL for me to get worked up and tense because I only marked 8 things off my 11-item to-do list for the day.

Do not succumb to the tyranny of our day.  Fight it tooth and nail!  Wage war on the crippling mindset that says “you matter because you  know how to get things done.”  Don’t replace genuine relationships with people with projects.  Projects are cold, impersonal, and ultimately forgettable.  Who among us can remember an all-consuming to-do list from April of 2003?

Yet the people that we love are flesh and blood, emotions and spirit, and they need us as much as we need them.  We risk our very souls when we NEVER connect with our brothers and sisters, sacrificing genuine friendships on the altar of efficiency and industry.

So make your list.  Get to work on it.  Do it with diligence and excellence.  But put people first.  Jesus did.  They are more important than projects.

I’m not sure who coined this phrase, though it sounds like something Spurgeon would have said.  I do know that there is great truth and a little irony in it.

Simply put, pastors and preachers and ministers work all week long to serve and shepherd their flock, and the whole week they prepare for and anticipate Sunday.  As a pastor and minister, I can relate to this feeling; reading and praying and studying for the message, trying to hear from God, ready to deliver a fresh word all the while serving your wife and family and trying to maintain spiritual and physical health and hoping that when you lay your head on the pillow, you can go to sleep.  Or in my case, praying that once you fall asleep, you will stay asleep.

The weekend can come on like a hurricane.  The energy it requires to deal with and pastor people, put out fires, patiently pray and lead the hurting and confused in your church…is simply enormous.  And the mental and spiritual focus demanded of us to stand on that stage and deliver the word God gave us is difficult to say the least.  Adrenaline levels soar.  Then they deplete.  It’s like the ocean’s tide, coming in and going out.  Preachers are often left feeling spent, fatigued, and hungover on Mondays.

So the old saying goes…”Every preacher quits on Monday.”  Oversimplification?  Perhaps.  But I know I have experienced this countless times.  I will continue to, and you will too, at times.  Just remember that if you are spent and worn out and depleted on Monday, you are not thinking straight, and if you do quit on Monday, it’s ok.  God understands.  He knows that some rest, prayer, worship, and another good night’s sleep will get you back to normal by Tuesday.  Ok, maybe Wednesday.

Your job will still be there when you decide you really didn’t want to quit after all.

I never saw The Stepford Wives. First, I didn’t want to.  Second, I didn’t need to because a quick movie review in the local paper told me everything I needed to know.  The plot was basic; wives are created to be perfect, just the way men want them to be, never having an opinion or voicing disagreement, always cooking and cleaning and being pretty much perfect in they eyes of men.

It is easy for me to make Jesus into a sort of Stepford God for myself.  It is my tendency as a fallen, sinful human to view Jesus in light of my selfishness, and my selfish nature always wants to create the easiest, most convenient scenario.  Therefore, I must fight the battle daily to not be overcome by worldliness and greed, materialism and shallownes, and in turn make Jesus my Stepford God who does what I want Him to when I snap my fingers or throw up a quick prayer with His name tagged on the end of it.

One of the most dangerous things about making God in our own image (imagining God in terms of a god we would prefer, one that we would like, or what we would be like if we were god) is that we are motivated, often times, by sin and sin alone.  This is what makes Jesus so unique.  He is not a Stepford God because HE CONTRADICTS US.  He tells us that we are NOT the big deal.

Jesus has the audacity to claim to be the greatest King of all the Kings in history and the mightiest Lord among the laundry list of rulers that spans time.  He doesn’t fit my mold.  He tells me when I am wrong, when I need to repent, and when I need to change my attitudes and actions to line up with His example and His expectations.

In other words, we don’t boss Jesus around.  We, instead, yield our ways to His commands.  When He contradicts us through His word or the Holy Spirit, He does it out of love for us in complete authority, with our best interest at heart.  Our best response is humble obedience.

I have a confession.  I hate witnessing.  I know I should love it.  After all, I am an ordained minister and an evangelist.  But I hate feeling like I need to share the gospel with every single human I lay my eyes on, or I will be held accountable if they die without Christ.  This comes from a legalistic understanding of God’s grace as well as an arrogant, secret need to save the world, of which I am not capable.

But I have another confession.  I have figured something out, and it came to me when reading 1 John 1:1-4.  Witnessing is not something I do.  It is who I am.

John says in that passage that he had heard the gospel, that he had seen Jesus with his own eyes, and that he had handled Jesus with his own hands.  It was so powerful an encounter that John had to talk about it.  He was compelled to naturally proclaim what a difference meeting and knowing Jesus had made in his life.

There are things I love, that have changed my life, and I talk about them.  It is not a job or a task, it comes naturally to talk about things that are important to me:

1.  My lovely, beautiful, Godly wife

2.  My cute, awesome, lovable boys

3.  The amazing ministry I serve at Crossroads

4.  My best friends; Matt, Perry, Steven, Burgess, Berger, Seth, Christopher, Jonathan

5.  Bear hunting

6.  The Dallas Cowboys and the Clemson Tigers

When we love something or have had our lives changed by it, we will become evangelists for whatever that thing may be.  No one has to prod us, manipulate us, or trick us into talking about what we have seen.  I have seen Jesus change my life and thousands more.  I cannot help it now; I have to proclaim it.

Wow.  That is really what comes to mind right now.  God has been so gracious and faithful to us.  Already in 2010 we have seen over 2,000 public professions of faith.  As I begin my 23rd year of ministry and Crossroads celebrates 15 years of God’s faithfulness, here are the things that we need you to pray about for us, and we even hope that you will come and join us in some of these awesome opportunities.

1.  WINTER CONFERENCES:  The best ever!  As we celebrated our 13th year, we saw 77 people saved, nearly 1,300 in total attendance, and students gave $16,000 to missions with over $13,000 going directly to relief efforts in Haiti through www.newmissions.com.  Videos from Winter Conference will be up on Facebook and YouTube soon and if you want to order any of the messages from Winter Conference, call Jeremy at our office.  704-434-2920

2.  CROSSROADS SUMMER CAMPS:  We will be celebrating 15 years this summer and our registration numbers are double what they were at this time last year.  We hope you and your youth group will join us, but you need to register soon before weeks are full.
Dates: June 28- July 2, July 5- July 9, July 12- July 16, July 18- July 22 (Sun-Thur)
$50 Deposit per person reserves your spot @ Gardner-Webb University in Boiling Springs, NC
Call 704-434-2920
Visit www.crossroadsworldwide.com

3. SUMMER CAMP STAFF: Applications are due March 1.  They’re piling in fast so don’t procrastinate!

4. COMMUNITY DISCIPLESHIP HOME:  Applications for CDH5 are due March 1.  If you are age 18-25 and want to dedicate a year of your life to living in intentional community, being discipled and prepared for ministry, this may be the right thing for you.

5.  FREE SERMONS:  We just put 25 new sermons on the internet for free right here at www.claytonking.com/media and on iTunes under “clayton king live”  and you can also download podcasts from our Ministry Director, Matt Orth, on iTunes at “Broad River Community Church”

6.  SCHEDULE:  Pray for me as a I preach pretty much non-stop over the next few months.  Here are the next few events you can pray for.
Jan 28-30 - CONCLAVE, Chattanooga TN
Feb 2 - Dimensions, Gardner-Webb University
Feb 3 - First Baptist Woodstock GA
Feb 5-6 - 20/20 Conference, Southeastern Seminary, Wake Forest NC

7.  TWITTER:  You can follow us at CRWorldwide or clayton_king to keep up with what’s happening daily in our ministry

As always, thank you for loving and supporting us at Crossroads.  We depend on your prayers for our strength and faithfulness!